Here it is, Saturday August 18th, 2018 at 1:32 in the morning. A simple and relaxing Friday is the move these days. I’m at home crafting blogs and reflecting on life—this feels healthy. Is this maturity? I guess I’m growing up.
For the first time, I’m writing about a topic suggested from one of my fellow intellects. This is a major blog post! It won’t be as lengthy as my monthly post but it will have depth. The topic selected was self-preservation and to explain what self-preservation looks like to me.
Self-preservation is survival and sometimes I forget I need to survive. I forget I need to allow myself the time to rest and heal. I forget to keep my distance from toxic relationships and remove myself from toxic spaces. I forget to love myself before I love others.
I forget to affirm myself.
Over the past couple of months, I’ve been forgetting less and remembering more-- just how important it is to preserve myself. Self-preservation does not require nor does it encourage one to harm or hurt others in the process of preserving self. Self-preservation does require one to engage in healthy behaviors that equips you with the tools to overcome challenges and reach your purpose.
People of color have more systemic challenges to over-come which means we must be more intentional about how we equip ourselves because actualizing our purpose is so necessary. Though resiliency is an important trait, there are some adverse effects to this trait I believe we must acknowledge. For me, my resiliency was developed from hardships and you can’t have hardships without some form of trauma. The cake represents hardship and the icing on the cake is trauma. Unfortunately, we [people of color] have normalized eating the unhealthy cake with icing because it’s institutionally been the most accessible food.
I do believe resiliency can become healthy if we don’t normalize our trauma, separate trauma that we have created versus created by others, and identify lessons learned that result in healthy growth. This process is essential to ensuring our future generations understand that just because certain resources are the most accessible does not mean it is the only resource available nor does it mean it is the healthiest option.
I practice self-preservation when I affirm myself. In a previous blog, Throw the Whole Chip Away, I shared on the importance of unlearning the practice of being your biggest enemy and learning to practice being your biggest supporter.
Self-love is intrinsic to self-preservation.
Before you can recognize why your preservation matters, you must acknowledge and remind yourself frequently that your existence is important to this world. We all serve a purpose and because we forget or don’t hear it enough, we don’t see a need to preserve ourselves. Dark moments can come when we forget to look in the mirror and acknowledge the brightness of our light.
Take time to affirm yourself.
Take time to identify ways to preserve yourself.
As you go through your day, take time to ask yourself “have I affirmed myself today” and if you have not—do it. Do it again, and again, and again, and again because the preservation of you matters.
#ALLGREENEVERYTHING2018. Join the movement.