Here it is, August 25th, 2018 at 12:15 pm. I’m headed to New York City for Afropunk and I figured it would be a good idea to work on a blog en route. I missed my first bus, was unable to board the second bus but eventually made the third bus. What a way to start off my first Afropunk? I know the weekend will be worthwhile if I remain positive and open.
Open to trusting the timing of the universe.
Open to re-adjusting my plans.
Open to being positive.
Open to going with the “flow.”
Do you know what is hard to admit?
When you’ve outgrown a familiar space.
A couple weekends ago, after a late night of hanging out with my brothers on a popular street in DC, I expressed that my feet were throbbing while walking to the car. Like any brother, one responded with banter about how my shoes were too small. Not only did he respond with jokes about my shoes but he made a hook out of it. One hook led to a verse and that verse led to a featured verse from a stranger riding on his bike. Verses (BARS!) were dropped and hooks were repeated and I knew this was more than a silly song. It spoke to my current space and I knew it would be my next blog post.
What’s the hook? *yells random person in the back*
Thank you random person. I was hoping someone would ask
Ya shoes too small.
Ya shoes too small.
Can’t have it all.
If ya shoes too small.
I’d record the harmony but I’d rather leave that up to your imagination. On a surface level, most people can relate to the discomfort of small shoes. If your shoes are too small, you can’t have it all. People may compliment you on your shoes but deep down inside--you know your shoes do not fit. They’re not a good fit for what you want to achieve and specifically, where you want to go.
That’s where I am at now.
My shoes do not fit. I need space to explore, create, contribute and most importantly, grow. Some spaces aren’t big enough for me to explore, some spaces limit what I can create, some spaces don’t value what I contribute, and some spaces are too familiar to stimulate growth for me. In those moments, I recognize I’ve outgrown the space and it is time for me to transition on to another space. It can be stressful feeling stuck in a space that you know you’ve outgrown. I felt restricted because I did not have enough opportunities to actualize my full potential. I’ve grown tremendously in my current space and that’s a beautiful feeling. From feeling like the shoes were too big to fill to accepting that I’ve filled the shoes as much as I needed and it’s time to find new shoes.
Sometimes you realize on your own that your shoes are no longer a good fit. Sometimes others help you recognize that your shoes are no longer a good fit. The period of transitioning into shoes that fit best begins when you actively work towards understanding your projected shoe size. In life, we wear different shoes to accommodate our growth over periods of time. Your current shoe size will change so the projected shoe size you aspire to grow into helps determine which shoes would fit best. The transitional period is no romantic experience but it is a necessary process if we want to achieve our purpose. As I’ve moved through this period of transition, there are a few key lessons I’ve learned and accepted as my truth that I would like to share.
Acknowledge your full potential and be honest when you’ve outgrown your shoes. I know people, it’s hard to look in the mirror beyond the assumptions of others and recognize you’re hella dope. It starts with being at peace with the truth you see in the mirror. That truth knows exactly what you’re capable of--the key is believing in yourself and moving into spaces that bring out your full potential. Don’t ignore that throbbing pain--it is a sign.
Know the difference between shoes that you’ve outgrown versus shoes you’ll have to grow into. There is a difference. Shoes that you’ve outgrown do not fit. Those shoes lack opportunities for you to grow and/or work towards your purpose. Shoes that you’ll have to grow into provide ample opportunities for you to grow and work towards your purpose. Take the necessary steps to find the most fitting shoes based on the opportunities.
Do your research first. The goal of the shoe salesperson is to sell shoes based on the needs expressed. Take time to identify your needs, prioritize your comforts to figure out which shoes would fit best, and communicate those findings to the salesperson. Avoid buying or wearing shoes only because others told you the shoes look like a good fit for you especially if they do not understand your needs. Also, avoid buying or wearing shoes only because you’re escaping from the discomfort of the previous shoes. Acknowledge the lessons from the shoes you’ve outgrown and use it to guide you in understanding the size you need to grow into. Reflection is an essential tool in your research kit--use it!
Buy shoes that support growth. You’ll have to grow into all new spaces. Acknowledge that you’ve learned a lot from the previous space and that is the reason you’re at this point in your life. The process of growing into new spaces does not always feel comfortable and can be intimidating. We tend to think the grass is greener on the other side of the new space and it’s not--but your growth is. Be prepared to push through to reach your purpose.
Affirm yourself throughout the period of transition. This is probably one of the times when it’s most important to be your biggest cheerleader. At this point, you’ve heard enough doubt from others and you’re feeling the effects of the comforts you’ve compromised to get here. Those little reminders of your dopeness can soothe the doubt into confidence. IT IS WORTH IT!
Be intentional about the usage of your time and the spaces you occupy. Prioritize your comforts and determine what you’re willing to compromise. Evaluate and make the necessary adjustments to fit those needs because priorities change over time. Don’t romanticize the potential of a new space without acknowledging the discomforts from the compromise. There is always some discomfort to a compromise--whether it’s hidden or not. Most importantly, recognize your potential and acknowledge when a space limits your growth.
Boss up in #ALLGREENEVERYTHING2018 with shoes that fit best.